I grew up in a Christian home, and I cannot remember life before I was able to know and believe in the Gospel message. However, my faith has been highly focused on knowledge and not very focused on intentional, authentic relationship with God. This focus on knowledge over relationship and truth over grace led me to have a legalistic view and to be very hard on myself and be filled with shame for my shortcomings.
Many years of my life have been dominated by fear and anxiety. I responded to these fears by protecting my comfort and pride at all costs: living passively, isolating myself, and forming bad habits in order to cope with my dissatisfaction and shame.
During the last two years, I have grown a lot in learning about myself, why I think and act the way that I do, how to manage my anxiety in healthy ways, and how to get better at forming connections with others. I feel that it is time to take this step with God.
IT'S TIME FOR ME TO STOP SUBCONSCIOUSLY KEEPING GOD AT A DISTANCE BECAUSE OF MY SHAME. IT'S TIME INSTEAD TO TRUST GOD THAT HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT, THAT HE LOVES ME, AND HE DESIRES A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME.